♥ Saturday, December 19, 2009
many times i felt like giving up...
leave to a place that no one knows me,
cos i know i not up to standard to led and bring this team up.
many people around me said i am stupid,
why am i still back in school even i graduated?
i could just escape from everything and led my peaceful life.
It hit right into my heart when my friend told me this.
friend : will they appreciate the time and commitment you made?
Me : if i will to let go, i would not have stay on till now.
friend : Let go den.
i went totally speechless and my mind went blank.
That day of working i wasn't with my soul,
i kept thinking..
one year since i last touch ' fruit juice '
i promise someone i will not touch it again.
why am i back into this pathetic status.
WHY ?
it wasn't my bad mood day.
My expectation, target seems to be so far away from me.
so far that i don't see it anymore.
so far that i don't get to see a glipse of light.
I lost the confidence i had,
who will bring it back to me?
I am losing the whole battle already,
but why am still here?
i fell,cried,tried to climb it back.
hoping every session gaves me the confidence back.
i back to the deep well that nobody sees me, again.
Hate me, cos i hate myself too.
afterall,
i am not a good leader.
that day it hurts so much to see that,
but i was just there helplessly to see it happen and was created by my hands?
i want to talk and explain but...
who will understand?
who will understand?
who will understand?
who will understand?
that question is just a question without an answer.
i still cant bear to let go of this team.
what should i do?
1 month -> area7 mini competition.
2months-> real competition.
say long not long,
say short not short.
is up to them already.
like what ST say,
i should go enjoy my life.
even though she calls me a robot aka without rest human being.
Sorry T,
i broke our promise D:
TOODLES, 8:01 PM
..Love
